The Best Things About Being Single

Although we may be single and aware that NOBODY loves us let’s not forget there are some great things about being single;

1. Total Control of the Remote Control

Men always try and hog the control, dictating what you should see and as soon you you put on a bit of The Only Way is Essex he becomes the Secretary of Culture moaning “how can you watch this rubbish??”

2. No Football

Gone are the days where you have to go and watch the match and feign interest in order to impress him and his mates. Football matches are crowded, loud and it’s horrible being upstaged by twelve grown men running around, kicking a ball. One glance at your boyfriend’s look of zeal and you just know that he’d trade you in if it meant his team won the match.

Plus you don’t have to join in with all the “Who Are Ya? Who Are Ya?” 

Bloody unladylike.

3. No Drunken Sex

Ok, so being single has the drawback that you don’t have an ass to regularly tap however it also means that you don’t have to be kind and have sex with your boyfriend when he is horny and drunk.

Stale beer breath and a guy whose reflexes have been dulled significantly by alcohol is something you can do without.

4. You don’t have to Look After Him

Very few women will disagree that having a boyfriend is dissimilar to having a pet.

It doesn’t start out that way. Initially they are very independent, pulling their own weight, surprising you with cooking and even managing to do their own laundry but five months down the line he’s lost all sense of responsibility and looks to you to maintain him.

Yep, boyfriends are like high maintenance pets.

5. Doors and Drawers Remain shut

For some reason men refuse to close these things. Blame it on the hormones.

It’s those same hormones that stop them from putting the toilet seat down.

6. No more “Sorry, I can’t make it, Steve and I are watching a film” excuses to the girls

Girlfriends automatically cut down on the girls night out and the reasons are twofold: 1) they do actually want to spend time with the boyfriend and 2) the more girls night outs they go to the more boys nights out they will have to allow.

There really should be some kind of double standard.

So there you go any depressed Bridget Jones’s of the world, you may not get a cuddle in the mornings or a random text saying they love you but at least there’s less washing to hang up. Silver linings and all that jazz...

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